The Truth Is, We Were Much To Young ...

Why am I an afterthought? Why doesn't anyone think about me until after the fact? I mean seriously in all the relationships I have (mainly... scratch that ... only platonic) I am the one who calls I am the one who messages It's like no one thinks of me until I contact them. I barely got invited anywhere in high school but then when I was regaled with stories I was always asked why I didn't go or told that I should have come. MAYBE YOU DIPWADS SHOULD HAVE INVITED ME! If this you're reading this and you feel it's untrue then I'm sorry but I'm paranoid about these things and I have good reason. I went through half of elementary and all of middle school with no friends ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. It all started in the fourth grade we came back from summer vacation and nobody liked me anymore. To this day I don't know what happened or what I did to cause that. People teased me basically everyday calling me ugly, poor, and everything in between and most of the people that did this were those I considered friends just a summer ago. Even the lames made fun of me. I hated it, even thought of commiting suicide a few times. Most days I would come home and cry asking God why nobody liked me. When high school came around I promised myself that I would fix whatever mistake I made at Bates and that I would make myself become more likeable. So August 2004 rolls around and I try to fit in, in this place called Renaissance High and I was mildly successful. I wasn't Mr. Popular but I did have some friends and that was fine with me but then I started getting paranoid. What if these people aren't my friends and they just tolerate me cause they think I'll still be a nusance either way? I didn't acknowledge my best friend since ninth grade as being my best friend until she told me I was hers and that was around eleventh twelth grade lol But anyway I saying all this to say I'm ready to change. I'm tired of being the afterthought I want to be someone's first thought It's going to take a lot of work but I can do it. P.S. This will be my last serious post. I'm not a very deep person and I've become sick of trying to be so I can have something to write about on this dumbass blog. From now on it'll be just daily ramblings about me or stuff I like and think you should like oh and they'll be pictures .... alot more pictures